Monday, November 12, 2012

I shouldn't have to . . .

I'm feeling dirty having just said that. As of this minute, I'm trying to strike this phrase from my vocabulary. Why? Because I feel this phrase is damaging to me. When I say that I stop looking at the world for what it is and try to align it with the way I wish the world were. I mean I could sit and say "I shouldn't have to pay for doctor visits with my husband because we have insurance" but that's just not in line with reality. We have to deal with things that aren't so happy and that we may feel logically that we shouldn't need to do. But those words change nothing but our attitude. And they change it for the worst.

What I've tried doing instead is looking at my situation and instead looking for what I need to do. So for instance going back to the insurance thing, I had my husband call the insurance and talk to them about the situation (since he is the policy holder) and looked at what we could do about the situation. It turns out that we didn't need to pay as much as was charged but by trying to take care of it in a positive way, we all remained happier through the whole process.

The trick I'm looking at is not looking at our perfect world when addressing our problems in the present. We can't change what we have to do sometimes and we can't change the circumstances we are given. It's how we react to them that determine both our happiness and the kind of people we are. I know it corresponds with my goal to have people remember me as always happy despite our circumstances. So I guess the first step is to remove words like this which carry negativity from my vocabulary.

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